High School Science
I have to confess: I have never actually watched Duck Dynasty yet. Maybe I will put that sin of omission right one day soon. Judging by the proliferation of bearded red-neck dolls in Walmart, I may be in a minority.

Apparently, Phil Robertson has also found himself in a minority. It is a minority consisting of those who can properly quote and apply 1 Corinthians 6:9-10

Robertson paraphrased the verse thus:

Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers—they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.


Compare Robertson’s paraphrase with what I read in the NKJV.

Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.

Now this is strong stuff, and obviously very offensive. It is no wonder that Phil Robertson has now been indefinitely suspended by the TV network, A&E, because of complaints! So who complained?

Phil Robertson

Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty

Perhaps a national organization representing the interests of adulterers has contacted A&E. After all, if certain men have taken such great care and creativity to cover their tracks, in order to have sexual relations with another woman, without their wives knowing, it must be really galling for them to be so publicly criticized by Robertson. Imagine the hardship involved in cheating on your wife, and then having to be told you are a filthy sinner for so doing! How intolerant of Phil Robertson to point out that the Bible says this is a sin!

Having checked the previous paragraph with people in the office, I have discovered that the complainer was not an adulterer. So he or she must have been an idolater. Imagine spending all day polishing your shiny new idol, and then, having spent a few hours bowing down to it, you park yourself on the couch and reach for the remote, only to find out that the incompatibility of your lifestyle with Biblical standards is being denigrated by some beard in the forest! I mean, talk about offensive!

Well, I have been told this article needs a little more editing. Apparently, idolators were not particularly surprised to find out that the Bible didn’t agree with their practices. So who could it have been? Was some large 300 pound guy busy choking with rage on his tenth slice of cake, while holding a triple-decker burger in the other hand?


What about the man who came home after downing ten straight jars of ale. As he paused from beating his wife and kids in a drunken stupor, did he stop to pen a letter of disgust to the TV network about how his quaint foibles were being harangued by a Bible-thumper?


Did the Gossip, busy slandering all her neighbors and “friends” get ticked off that someone had pointed out that the Bible stated that her behavior disqualified her from heaven? How intolerant!


So, I have to assume that A&E were heavily criticized by the National Association of Swindlers. Will you quit judging these poor innocent people, who just want to make some dishonest gain by selling unsuitable life assurance policies to the gullible and vulnerable? It must have been them that complained, surely?


You will never guess which tiny minority it was that complained.